People often discuss self-love as a key to personal well-being and happiness. Psychologist Anisa Yuliandri, S.Psi., M.Psi., from the Career and Student Development Center (CSDU), Faculty of Economics and Business, Universitas Gadjah Mada (FEB UGM), defines self-love as deep and unconditional self-acceptance. It involves recognizing one’s worth, treating oneself kindly, and prioritizing personal well-being.
“Self-love is often mistaken for selfishness or narcissism. It is a healthy form of self-respect that is crucial for supporting mental and emotional stability,” she explained on Thursday (January 16, 2025) at the FEB UGM.
Anisa emphasized that self-love is closely related to self-compassion, a kind, and caring attitude toward oneself when facing life’s challenges. By practicing self-compassion, individuals learn to accept their failures and imperfections as part of life. This allows them to be more forgiving of themselves.
She explained that self-compassion has three main components: self-kindness (being gentle with oneself), common humanity (recognizing that failure is a universal human experience), and mindfulness (focusing on the present moment without denial or avoidance).
However, many people struggle to cultivate self-love. Anisa pointed out that these challenges often stem from psychological barriers such as low self-esteem, perfectionism, and negative self-talk.
“People with low self-esteem often feel unworthy of love and kindness, even from themselves,” she explained.
Perfectionists, on the other hand, tend to set high standards for themselves and are overly critical when they fail to meet them. She added that persistent negative inner dialogues, such as “I’m not good enough” or “I always fail,” can reinforce feelings of unworthiness.
Anisa offered several strategies for overcoming these barriers. One is to practice self-compassion by being kind to yourself. Another is recognizing that failure is a natural part of being human and focusing on the present moment. Other strategies include addressing negative self-talk through cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), practicing self-care such as exercising, getting enough sleep, eating well, pursuing hobbies, and incorporating mindfulness through meditation or breathing exercises.
Anisa also highlighted how societal norms and cultural expectations can hinder self-love. “The emphasis on external achievements, such as success and appearance, often creates pressure to conform to certain standards,” she noted. She advised individuals to recognize and optimize their strengths while viewing weaknesses as opportunities for growth.
She also stressed the urgency of raising awareness of the importance of self-love in society. It is necessary to redefine success in terms of external achievements, personal growth, and authentic living. She also encouraged the creation of supportive environments and the normalization of discussions about mental health.
“The more people are aware of the importance of self-love, the more individuals will embrace themselves with the kindness and compassion they deserve,” she concluded.
Reportage: Orie Priscylla Mapeda Lumalan
Editor: Kurnia Ekaptiningrum
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