Eid is one of the most anticipated moments after a month of fasting, bringing families together to reunite, strengthen bonds, and reconnect with relatives. However, amid the warm atmosphere, small talk questions often arise. Although these questions are frequently asked with good intentions, they can sometimes make people uncomfortable. Topics such as academic and professional achievements, personal life, or even changes in physical appearance often become unavoidable topics of conversation.
For some, these questions may seem normal, but they can be mentally taxing for others. According to Lazarus and Folkman’s Cognitive Appraisal Theory, stress is an automatic response to a situation, depending on how an individual perceives the circumstance as a threat, pressure, or something neutral.
“If we perceive small talk questions as pressure, our body and mind will respond with stress. Changing how we look at these questions can be the first step to dealing with them more calmly,” said Anisa Yuliandri, S.Psi., M.Psi. a psychologist from the Career and Student Development Unit (CSDU) FEB UGM.
Anisa explained that research by Qudsy (2020) found that social pressure significantly impacts mental health. If not managed well, it can lead to anxiety, stress, and reduced self-confidence. However, if approached positively, social pressure can instead motivate personal growth.
Anisa shared some practical tips on how to handle such issues wisely. One helpful approach is assertive communication, which involves expressing one’s thoughts and rights without offending others. In addition, responding with humor and a lighthearted attitude can help keep the conversation relaxed and comfortable.
“If you begin to feel uncomfortable, try to change the subject. Most importantly, don’t overthink it. If you feel uncomfortable, take a deep breath and calm down. If necessary, being honest and open about your feelings is okay to feel more comfortable,” Anisa advised.
Anisa also stressed the importance of staying calm and not taking things too personally. Don’t let other people’s words make you feel inadequate; these questions are often just casual remarks with no deeper intentions.
She reminded that everyone has their life path and that there is no need to rush due to societal expectations.
If these questions remain overwhelming during Eid, Anisa reassures that no one has to face them alone. FEB UGM offers mental health support through the CSDU, which provides free professional counseling services. In addition, FEB has a peer support program where students can share their stories and find solutions with supportive peers.
Source: CSDU
Writer: Shofi Hawa Anjani
Editor: Kurnia Ekaptiningrum
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